To that girl who most of the time thinks that she is not worth waiting for.

Dear Ana,

Recently, I look for reasons  just to make me laugh instead of overthinking stuffs and stress myself with people I’m trying to reach but ignores me and chose not stay to with me.

At least for a moment, i forget that I was hurt. By a man I like but will never like me back.

Too shallow, too corny. But when you are the kind of person who’s been waiting, looking for that right one, then someone came, thinking he’s the one and eventually he’s not. You sigh, you somehow cried a tear. Hearts get tired, as it heals it takes time. 3 years, 6 years? Isn’t that enough?

Laugh.

Even if you’re too sad,

even if you are too exhausted,

even if you think you’re alone,

at least some tissues and cells in our body is trying to survive.

Today, I’m missing him.

there is no reason for me to miss him, but that’s me.

I get too easily attached with a person who showed me once that he cared.

I easily fell with his sweetness and many times I got broken. Without him knowing. I expect too much from someone who just said hi with a kiss emoji but never greeted me “good morning” texts..

But I always do, and always end up hurting.

Many were lucky to find their match, destiny, and forever. Maybe I wasn’t good enough or maybe I haven’t done anything that impresses God. Why are they happy? Why am I not? At the end of it, there is nothing that I can do… Somehow sometimes I think I just have to leave it to Him who knows it all, who knows whats best for me, planning the right path where the both of us will meet.

Meanwhile, even if I waited long enough, maybe I should wait a little longer, sometimes when you are about to give up, that’s when something wonderful happens, so don’t ever give up on that.

For the meantime, I’ll find things that will make me smile, to be happy, find me. Love me. So that when he came, I know I can share with him the love that I kept for myself or maybe even give him more.

By that time, I am ready to get hurt again by a man who loves the real me but chose to stay.

Yours,

Maria

 

 

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